2/20/10

Highest La Paz


 


Highest La Paz, Bolivia – La Paz is situated at an altitude of 3’600 meters,
the shortage of oxygen is compensated by playing with your head in the clouds.
This 18 hole golf course, par 71 has its highest hole at an altitude of 3’342 meters
and its lowest at 3’277 meters.

Robin Sieger, co-founder of the Awesome 8 Golf Society:
13th December 2002
A private club with a most testing layout, no room for error. The altitude causes some strange things to happen. It is unlikely I will ever hit the ball as far again, a 4 iron at a 230 yds par 3 that went through the green - Deep joy!  The altitude caused me to feel somewhat breathless, but the stunning scenery was amongst the most wonderful backdrop to any course in the world. It is a course I am determined to revisit for a couple of days and play again and again. Wonderful.

www.lapazgolfclub.com

   

Renoir

Renoir: 'The Concert', 1918  
Renoir: 'The Concert', 1918

Renoir: 'Dancer with a Tambourine', 1918  
Renoir: 'Dancer with a Tambourine', 1918

Renoir: 'Large Bathers', 1884-87  
Renoir: 'Large Bathers', 1884-87

Source: LACMA
The exhibition presents approximately 80 paintings, sculptures, and drawings by Renoir, interspersed with select works by Pablo Picasso, Henri Matisse, Aristide Maillol, and Pierre Bonnard, to illustrate the developing avantgarde’s debt to the older master. Curated by LACMA curator Claudia Einecke and Chief Curator of European Art J.Patrice Marandel, the show offers an unprecedented look at Renoir through the lens of modernism, bridging the perceived divide between the art of the late nineteenth and the early twentieth centuries. Co-organized by the Réunion des Musées Nationaux, the Musée d’Orsay, and LACMA, in collaboration with the Philadelphia Museum of Art, the exhibition will be on view from February 14 to May 9, 2010

“Renoir in the 20th Century is unlike any other Renoir exhibition,” says Einecke. “By focusing solely on his later works, it reveals a Renoir who is largely unknown, in a completely new and unexpected context. The juxtapositions with Picasso and his modernist peers are astonishing.” During the last thirty years of his career, Renoir moved on from impressionism to an art aiming to be decorative, continue the great tradition of European painting, and be modern, all at once. The resulting paintings and sculptures became an enduring source of inspiration to a generation of younger artists who were feeling their way into modernism in the early twentieth century.

Renoir was acclaimed as an emblematic figure of impressionism in the 1870s, but even as that movement was winning wider acceptance, he embarked on new paths of experimentation and innovation. He challenged the basic principles of impressionism and, in an overt reference to the past, turned to traditional drawing and studio work. This period of crisis and research ended in the early 1890s, a decade that brought Renoir public and institutional recognition as well as commercial success. Without rejecting impressionist techniques, Renoir invented a style he described as classical and decorative. As a declared figure painter, he concentrated on the female nude, portraits, and studies from the model, in the studio or outdoors, and experimented with new techniques.

Like his contemporaries and friends Paul Cézanne and Claude Monet, Renoir became a point of reference for a new generation of artists. Picasso, Matisse, Bonnard, and Maurice Denis, among many others, expressed their admiration for the master, and in particular for his “last manner,” referring to his work at the turn of the century. Great champions of modern art, such as Leo and Gertrude Stein, Albert Barnes, Louise and Walter Arensberg, and Paul Guillaume, collected Renoir alongside Cézanne, Picasso, and Matisse.

As an artist who was forever exploring and keen to take up challenges, Renoir wanted to test himself against the great masters from the past, notably Titian and Rubens, but also Fragonard and Watteau, whom he admired in the Louvre and during his travels. His research was driven by his rejection of the modern world and a preference for a timeless Arcadia peopled by sensual bathers and inspired by the south of France, where he stayed often from the 1890s onward. Renoir saw the Mediterranean landscape as an antique land, at once the cradle and last refuge of a living, familiar, and topical mythology.

In his last years, Renoir persistently returned to a narrow group of themes which he explored even in unaccustomed media, such as sculpture. At the same time, in the first decade of the twentieth century, his work from life and from models yielded new compositions, of which his odalisques and, above all, the Large Bathers of 1918-1919 (Musée d’Orsay) were the crowning glory. Renoir himself considered Large Bathers an achievement and a springboard for future research.

This was, indeed, how the painting was seen by many artists in the early twentieth century, especially in the controversies surrounding the development of cubism and abstraction: it offered a working balance between objectivity and subjectivity, between tradition and innovation, which pointed the way to the classical modernity of the 1920s.

Since then, appreciation of “the late Renoir” has changed somewhat, and his paintings from this period are now little known. Although his landscapes and portraits have given rise to major exhibitions in recent years, there have been no studies or exhibitions focusing specifically on Renoir’s last years, as has been the case for Monet or Cézanne. Renoir in the 20th Century is designed to remedy this and explore this very fertile period in Renoir’s career.

Michelangelo

Michelangelo Buonarroti - The Dream of Human Life, c. 1533  



Michelangelo Buonarroti (1475-1564)
The Dream of Human Life, c. 1533
Black chalk, 39.4 x 27.7 cm
The Courtauld Gallery, London


Source: Courtauld Gallery
The Dream is one of Michelangelo’s ‘presentation drawings’, a magnificent and famous group of highly refined compositions which the artist gave to his closest friends. These beautiful and complex works transformed drawing into an independent art form and are amongst Michelangelo’s very finest creations in any medium. The Dream was probably made for a young Roman nobleman called Tommaso de’ Cavalieri, who was celebrated for his outstanding beauty, gracious manners and intellect. Michelangelo had first met him in Rome in the winter of 1532 and had instantly fallen in love. The Dream is likely to have been part of the superb group of drawings which Michelangelo gave to Cavalieri during the first years of their close friendship. This group forms the heart of the exhibition and includes The Punishment of Tityus, The Fall of Phaeton, A Bacchanal of Children and The Rape of Ganymede. In his Life of Michelangelo (1568) the biographer and artist Giorgio Vasari praised these exceptional works as ‘drawings the like of which have never been seen’ – and they are still regarded as amongst the greatest single series of drawings ever made.

Michelangelo’s drawings for Cavalieri have not been seen together for over twenty years and this is the first time that The Dream will be shown as part of this group. Exceptionally also, The Fall of Phaeton will be reunited with two earlier versions of this composition. Both carry inscriptions in Michelangelo’s hand, one requesting Cavalieri’s approval of the preliminary design.

The exhibition starts with the earliest surviving letter from Michelangelo to Cavalieri, dated 1 January 1533, in which the artist expresses his delight that Cavalieri had agreed to accept the gift of some drawings. Cavalieri is thought to have been no older than 17 at the time and, according to Vasari, Michelangelo’s gifts were primarily intended to teach him how to draw. The mythological stories such as Phaeton falling to earth with the chariot of the sun, the abduction of Ganymede – the most beautiful of mortals – and the punishment of the lustful giant Tityus may also have been intended to offer moral guidance. The drawings certainly also served as expressions of Michelangelo’s love for Cavalieri.

Sculptures

Alberto Giacometti - L’Homme qui marche I
Alberto Giacometti - L’Homme qui marche I

The
 Guennol Liones The Guennol Lioness
Artemis and the Stag
Artemis and the Stag
Constantini Brancusi: Bird in space
Constantini Brancusi: Bird in space
David Smith: Cubi XXVIII
David Smith: Cubi XXVIII - image from www.guggenheimcollection.org


Damien 
Hirst's controversial Skull
Damien Hirst's controversial Skull

Alberto Giacometti: Grande Femme debut Alberto Giacometti: "Grande Femme debut"


Constantini Brancusi: Danaide Constantini Brancusi: Danaide


Edgar Degas: Petite danseuse de quatorze ans Edgar Degas: Petite danseuse de quatorze ans


Antonio Canova: The Three graces Antonio Canova: The Three graces

by G. Fernández - theartwolf.com
Last Updated: February 2010
While working on the top 10 most expensive paintings ever sold I noticed that a lot of lists about that subject were displayed in many websites -though most of them were incorrect- but, surprisingly, no list of "the top 10 most expensive sculptures ever sold" could be found. So I decided to spend a few days creating what I consider to be the first list of this type published on the internet:

1. Alberto Giacometti: "L’Homme qui marche I", 1961
$104.3 million - Sotheby's London, February 2010
This life-size work ranks among the most arresting and iconic of the artist’s bronzes, and became the most expensive work of Art ever auctioned

2. Unknown artist: "The Guennol Lioness", c.3000 b.c.
$57.2 million - Sotheby's NY, December 5th 2007
The Guennol Lioness, a true masterpiece of Ancient Art, was created approximately 5,000 years ago in the region of ancient Mesopotamia. This work is also the most expensive antiquity ever sold 

3. Constantin Brancusi: "Madame LR (Portrait de Mme LR)", c.1914-17
$36.8 million - Christie's Paris, Fenruary 24th 2009
One of the stars of the so-called "auction of the century", the sale of the Yves Saint Laurent collection of Art

4. Pablo Picasso: "Tete de femme (Dora Maar)", 1941
$29.1 million Sotheby's NY, November 7th 2007
Picasso is a "must" in any most-expensive-Art list. This piece slightly surpassed the auction record set by a Roman antiquity (see below), but was smashed by the Guennol Lionness

5. Unknown artist: "Artemis and the stag", 1st century b.c.- 1st century a.c.
$28.6 million Sotheby's NY, June 2007
This beautiful and well-preserved bronze statue is also the second most expensive sculpture ever sold.

6. Constantini Brancusi: "Bird in space", 1922-23
$27.5 million Christie's NY, May 2005
Brancusi is arguably the most important sculptor of the 20 th century and his Birds in space rank among his most iconic works. This stylized piece surpassed the previous auction record for a sculpture -also held by Brancusi- in almost $10 million.

7. Alberto Giacometti: "Grande Femme debut", 1959/60
$27.5 million Christie's NY, May 2008
Executed in response to a commission for the new Chase Manhattan Bank headquarters and public plaza in New York 

8. David Smith: "Cubi XXVIII", 1965
$23.5 million Sotheby's NY, November 2005 Buyer: Eli Broad
Smith's impressive sculpture -formerly in the Guggenheim Museum- was purchased by Larry Gagosian, representing collector Eli Broad. This is the most expensive contemporary sculpture ever sold.

9. Pablo Picasso: "La grue", 1951/52
$19.1 million Sotheby's NY, May 2008


10. Auguste Rodin: "Eve, grand modèle", c.1885
$18.97 million Christie's NY, May 2008
"Eve, grand modèle-version sans rocher" by Auguste Rodin marks one of the great turning points in modern sculpture and was initially conceived in the 1880s for The Gates of Hell

UNCONFIRMED SALES
Damien Hirst: "For the love of God", 2006
$100 million - Private sale, August 2007
Hirst have claimed to having sold this skull with 8,601 diamonds for £50 million in 2007. If confirmed, it would be the highest price ever paid for a work of Art by a living artist

OTHER NOTABLE PRICES
Alberto Giacometti: "L'homme qui chavire", 1947
$18.5 million Christie's NY, May 2007


Constantini Brancusi: "Danaide", 1913
$18.1 million Christie's NY, May 2002
This elegant bronze head was the most expensive sculpture ever sold for three years, until it was surpassed by another Brancusi, the "Bird in space

Alberto Giacometti: "Grande femme debout I", c.1954
$14.3 million Christie's NY, November 2000
This work held the auction record for a sculpture until the sale of Brancusi's Danaide in 2002

Alberto Giacometti: "Grande tête de Diego", c.1954
$13.8 million Sotheby's NY, May 2002
Giacometti's expressive head sold for almost double its high estimate

10. Alberto Giacometti: "La forêt", 1950
$13.2 million Christie's NY, May 2002
Another Giacometti in this list. Large groups of extremely thin figures such as this rank among the artist's greatest achievements

Henri Matisse: "Figure decorative", 1952
$12.9 million Sotheby's NY, November 2006
Matisse's bronces like this are still a bit overrated by the Art market, since they are not among his greatest achievements. Another 1952 bronce by Matisse was sold for only $3.6 million in 1990, and a similar one for $12.65 million in May 2001.

Edgar Degas: "Petite danseuse de quatorze ans », 1879-81
$12.3 million Sotheby's NY, November 1999 Buyer: François Pinault
One of the most expensives sculpture ever sold, if you consider the amount of money it has move in recent years: it was sold for $11.8 million in 1996 and for $10.1 million in 1988. Later resold for $10.3 million in Christie's NY, November 2003.

Unknown artist: "The Jenkins Venus (The Barberini Venus)", c.1 st -2 nd century a.c.
$11.7 million (BP7.95 million) Christie's London , July 2002
This elegant marble Venus is the second most expensive antiquity ever sold, slightly surpassing the "Canford Assyrian relief", an impressive Assyrian relief sold at Christie's London in 1994

Antonio Canova: "The three graces", 1814-17
$11.5 million (BP7.5 million) Private sale, 1994 Buyer: Victoria & Albert Museum and the National Gallery of Scotland
Perhaps not the most expensive, but arguably the most important sculpture ever sold, at least in recent times. Canova's masterwork was purchased jointly by Victoria & Albert Museum and the National Gallery of Scotland

Henri Matisse: " Reclining Nude I (Dawn)", 1907
$10.4 million Phillips, May 2001
While Matisse is best known for his colorful paintings, he also made great achievements in sculpture, and this "Reclining nude" is one of his best examples.

Adriaen de Vries: "Dancing faun", c.1610
$10.4 million (BP6.8 million) Sotheby's, December 1989
This extremely important piece was rediscovered by Cyril Humpris, who bought it from a couple who considered it to be an ordinary garden sculpture

Sauna


The gym is crowded, your shoulders are sore, and all you want to do is hide in the sauna and relax. But, surprise, surprise, surprise, looks like everyone else has the same idea as you.

Do you ....

a. Get down with the other naked strangers (yes, you).
b. Forget you need to relax and head back to the treadmill.
c. Escape to your own personal retreat.

If you picked c, you're one smart cookie, and a Sunlight Sauna is just what you need. It’s like the anti-sauna. Meaning no attitudes, no unwanted strangers, and no traveling to get to it. Just total relaxation in the comfort of your own home, available whenever you want it. This unique infrared sauna not only promotes detoxification of metals and toxins, but it also boosts immune and cardiovascular systems as well as relieves pain.

The best part: It burns 200 to 600 calories in 30 minutes.

Fit for one person, and starting at $3000, this luxurious sauna can compliment just about any home.

Don't like to be completely alone? Get a larger one and invite over your friends.

Clothing optional.

Golf

Extreme Golf: Now That's a Water Hazard


Credit: Anonymous.
Golf on an aircraft carrier? This would most definitely help the U.S. Navy with recruiting.

I can see the ad already: Tiger Woods drives the ball right down the center of the fairway, then turns to the camera and says, "Join the Navy. See the World. Play Golf."

Not to mention, it would utterly confuse the enemy.

But before anyone complains about frivolous spending of taxpayer money, there is a back story to this picture.

Keep reading for the story behind this picture. Also, see our full forecast through the holiday weekend, our BeachCast , and NatCast for tonight's game at Nationals Park.

I have a friend in California whose son is acknowledged as one of the foremost experts in the design and maintenance of golf courses. Several years ago on a visit out there, we got to talking at a bar on the grounds of Pebble Beach, one of the world's best known golf courses. I was working for the Office of Naval Research at the time, and with the Pacific Ocean as our backdrop, he facetiously (so I thought) suggested I award him a contract for designing golf links on the flight deck of an aircraft carrier.

To humor him, I responded something to the effect of, "Sure, while not on top of the Navy's priority list, I'll see what I can do." We talked about how golfers would need to anticipate the slope and angle of ship roll, which in turn would open a whole new area of research and development -- golf strategy as related to wave action, sea spray, dodging incoming and outgoing aircraft, maneuvering around surfers when approaching Pearl Harbor, and being "hosed" under the Golden Gate by streams of water from fireboats welcoming sailors ashore.

Finally, I noted that not least amongst the problems would be the inevitable media headlines along the lines of, "Your Tax Dollars at Work."

As might be expected, almost immediately after our discussion, the idea was purged from whatever bin within my cranium houses memory. Much to my surprise, however, several months later I received the above picture in the mail from an anonymous sender. The picture has since appeared on a host of blog sites, without attribution. Clearly, whoever created it must be an expert in PhotoShop or the like.

My friend claims total innocence -- to which I responded that I own a desert island in the Arctic Ocean that could use a golf course. (There's a picture I'd like to see in Al Gore's next movie.)

At the time, some colleagues of mine thought a golf course-equipped aircraft carrier might actually be a good idea -- an innovative, revolutionary and totally unexplored area of national defense. Hence, an "out-of-the-envelope" opportunity for acquiring research funds. Contacts with ranking officers aboard aircraft carriers were unanimously enthusiastic. "Just think what golf at sea will do for sailor morale. ... When ammunition runs out, we can fire golf balls at the enemy."

After all, it's unlikely they've developed an anti-dimpled-ball defense.

Needless to say, the notion of aircraft carrier golf died a gentle death after the laughing subsided. At least it did in the "unclassified" world. Who knows, perhaps the skunkworks are working on it behind the scenes. It makes sense that we wouldn't want our adversaries to find out about such a project. They'd probably assume it was a means to hide some new-age weapons system.

Of course, we could play along with their assumption and argue that the target is not them, but rather a possible attack by extraterrestrials. Should they believe this, perhaps they'd want to buy my island in the Arctic.

Even if they don't buy our story, the whole thing might work to our benefit anyway -- no matter how evil the enemy, who'd want to blow up a beautiful golf course?
By Steve Tracton |  May 23, 2008; 11:30 AM ET Tracton

Cool ways to travel

There are some vehicles that just call your name. Just seeing them makes you want to hop in and take a ride or, even better, own one. Just for fun, I’ve put together my list of vehicles that did that for me. Here’s my list of five vehicles that make traveling cool.

5. Sir Richard Branson’s Necker Nymph submarine
Sir Richard Branson is always travelling in cool vehicles — and I’m not talking about Virgin planes. The Necker Nymph aero submarine is like an underwater plane and can glide on the surface of the water.



4. K.I.T.T.
I’m not the only one to think that KITT was the best thing about the Knight Rider series. A sleek, black, sporty vehicle that talked — and talked back to David Hasselhoff. I’ve always liked the idea of vehicles that could communicate, which is why this makes my list.



3. James Bond’s Lotus Esprit
James Bond drove several Lotus Esprits in his movies but the coolest one for me was the one that transformed into a submarine in the spy who loved me. While he has since driven flashier cars, none of those tops this one for me.



2. The TARDIS
the preferred mode of transport of Doctor Who, the TARDIS is bigger on the inside than on the outside, can go anywhere and has a few other useful tricks such as helping with regeneration and seemingly inexhaustible power supply. I’ve been fascinated with space travel since I first watched TV, which brings me to the top selection …



1. The USS Enterprise
Travel doesn’t get much cooler than this. Warp speed, dilithium crystals and the transporter makes this the best mode of travel I’ve ever seen. I only wish it really existed.


What’s on your list of cool ways to travel?

perkh

funny car photos

LOVE

Just The Facts

  1. Love is the most powerful thing on Earth, unless you have access to weaponry. Seriously, it's no match for even a rudimentary knife.
  2. Love means perpetually having to say you're sorry.
  3. Did you know? Shakespeare wrote more than two dozen plays about love...even though the emotion itself would not be invented for another forty years!
  4. This article is good for five LuvBux -- clip and redeem at your local massage parlor.

Common Questions about Love


What is love? Love is the process by which one person controls another. As the amount of love shown is increased or decreased, the manipulating party is able to procure food, sexual indignities, and children: strapping, young things with shimmering hair and calves as powerful as a donkey's heart.

What is "What is Love?"
A 1993 dance club song by Haddaway. Its use on other human beings is prohibited by the Geneva Protocol.

How will I know when I'm in love?
If you are a woman:
  • You will experience feelings of excitement, joy and desire.
  • You will place the other person's happiness above your own.
  • Your friends will hate you.

If you are a man:
  • Your wallet will be lighter.
  • You will hit things less.
  • You will no longer be fun.

If you are a robot:
  • You cannot feel love. Proceed to repair bay to correct this anomaly.

Sad Robot -- Sutherland Manifesto

Who else cannot feel love?
The Welsh. Too long in the mines hardens a man's heart.

What is the greatest love song ever written?
Difficult to say, as there are very few rhymes for "love," and musicians find the topic uninteresting. Rhymes for "pain," "ache" and "lying, cheating scumbag who slept with my sister" are readily found, however. But the answer is probably "Walk the Line."

Can I make [him/her] love me?
Yes, if you know in your heart you two were meant to be. All you have to do is show up wherever they turn no matter how uninterested they are at first. That's how America fell in love with Sandra Bullock.

I suggest a dramatic gesture of devotion; mix a playlist, then get an experimental mechanical heart with an iPod dock.

Other things you could try:
  • Threaten to hurt yourself
  • Tattoo their portrait in miniature on your nipples
  • Name a newly discovered species after them

Unfortunately, all the good animals are claimed so you'd better call your parasitic horror something really flattering.

Stephanie will be so flattered she might stop hitting you.
An accurately but unwisely classified specimen of Jessica Uptightis

Will I ever be loved?
Don't be ridiculous. Only attractive people deserve love.

Who will come to my funeral when I die alone?
A raincloud, if you're lucky.

Because George Thoroughgood 
got the grammar wrong.
And of course, ourselves.

Epic Lovers

These are the only recorded instances of love:
Your Mom - The way I hear it, your Mom let the Kiwanis Club run an epic train on her.

Romeo & Juliet - The timeless story of a fickle man-slut and his one-week romance with a thirteen-year-old girl. SPOILER ALERT: They die.

Tristan & Iseult - A young couple falls for one another after swallowing a love potion. This is the first known use of roofies. It's also the only way first time someone named "Iseult" was able to find love.

Dido & Aeneas - The Queen of Carthage kills herself in despair when her lover abandons her to found Rome. Just like a Trojan prince, am I right, ladies? We've all been there!

Johnny Cash & June Carter - When you'd rather go to church than party like a rockstar, but remain bad-ass? That's when it's love.



Types of Love

Pizza -- Pizza is fucking DELICIOUS. I love pizza!
Love is It -- Pugsley's!
Get over here, you minx.
Platonic -- Non-sexual love between a woman who dates jerks and a wimp who worships her. His fear of rejection and her willful ignorance continue until one of them settles.
Agape -- General love for all humanity. Espoused by Jesus, invented by Mr. Rogers.
Christian loveTM -- A bootleg version of agape with loopholes to completely disregard Christ's teachings.
If
 you're offended this is about you, it's probably not.
Maybe now you won't spend all your time with a dozen other dudes!
Eros -- Hot dog! Now we're in the good stuff! Eros is the wet and sticky kind of love that makes people do stupid things, like go to romantic comedies. These movies have titles like Lookin' for Love 2: Sassy in All the Wrong Places. If you're not in love, the trailer will warn you away by walking a character into a tree.
It's all in the crop.
Is he holding--OH. Whew!
Eros is represented as a chubby baby with wings and weapons -- the least erotic thing imaginable, unless you've seen Christopher Walken eat an ice cream cone.

We all scream for Walken
See, now you can't stop thinking about that.
Eroticism is highly subjective. One person may find the Brooklyn Bridge sexy, with its rigid columns of block and precise web of taut, steel cables flung straining against the sky, while another person who's clearly a pervert is turned on by women's feet.
There are a few things things we all find sexy: burst condoms, whale calls, smearing the word "PIG" on our lover's face with chocolate pudding...and of course, the sweet oblivion waiting at the end of a gun barrel.
In order to map this erogenous diversion, we must ask, "Does it make a naked Angelina Jolie less sexy?"
Angelina Jolie and a horse. Both are naked.
You're welcome for getting Walken out of your head.
--Angelina Jolie indicates our root libido. She's so hot she lights a cigarette by kissing the tip. If Angelina Jolie rapes you, the judge dismisses the case for lack of evidence. When a male friend dies, she's not allowed into the funeral until they nail shut the lower half of the coffin. If she starred in a musical about Anne Frank, gay Neo-Nazis would get circumcised just to start a conversation. The reason the universe is expanding is because Angelina Jolie is arousing it.
--The horse represents your own perversions: chains, body hair, exercise -- everything that exhilirates you, but is distasteful to people who don't share your fetish for gluing nostrils shut.
The point where your personal tastes intersect with the collective fantasy is the cut-off for what you're allowed to ask of your partner. A leather bridle is within your bedroom rights, but a live animal leeches the erotic power of nuzzling Ms. Jolie's breast.


--The Billy Bob Thornton Anti-Erotic Horizon is the firm line of things that are never acceptable in the bedroom, even as hypotheticals: Mother Teresa costumes, the undead, and anything you've already eaten. A good way to tell if something crosses the Billy Bob Thornton Anti-Erotic Horizon is to ask, "Would you do that for Tom Petty?" Sadly, the answer is always no.

Love as a positive

As with all pseudo-sciences, proving love exists is difficult because its effects are in the user's mind. Believers in love make unsubstantiated claims of outrageous health benefits for lovers: lower blood pressure, longer lifespan, and having someone else to cook for you. They even go so far as to say the crushing agony of living is less burdensome!
Happy Valentine's Day, 
Alice, I love you.
These deluded fools probably think they're happy.
Happy Valentine's Day, Alice. I love you.
Poppycock! Discrediting love is important, because it interferes with humanity's long culture of parents trading their children for farm animals. If love did exist, the richest men in the land would have hoarded it, charging the vulgar masses billions in sterling for this great delight.
Rich Uncle Pennybags, she 
only loves you for your...well, you know.
Marx's love letters warned us about this.
This Valentine's Day, as you purchase your beloved a box of the driest chocolates, gaze distractedly at more attractive couples around the room, and present her with a card written by an unpaid intern in Cleveland (you don't have to give her the card in Cleveland if there's a more convenient city near you), be thankful you are free of such hypothetical tyrannies of the mind.
Unless you really are in love -- in which case hold her tight, you beautiful bastard.
Brendan McGinley makes cool webcomics. He would love for you to come upstairs and see his etchings.

Dinner


IMAGE: Increasing disorder in a dining table, Diller + Scofidio, via deconcrete.

This drawing by architects Diller + Scofidio, titled Increasing Disorder In A Dining Table, documents the progression of a meal from a perfectly laid table, through a motion-trace palimpsest of the dinner party in action, to the wreckage of dirty dishes and crumpled napkins that confronts the host(s) after the last guest has departed. Or the other way round, if you read from left to right…



IMAGE: How to lay a formal dining table, complete with oyster fork and shery glass, via YourDinnerParty.co.uk.



IMAGE: Napkin (or serviette?) origami instructions, via Mrs. Beeton’s authoritative Book of Household Management.

Diller + Scofidio’s drawings fill the gap left by etiquette books, which meticulously diagram the set design necessary for a successful dinner party, but fail to map the equally choreographed during-dinner movements and post-dinner dérangement that ensue. In fact, the reversed order of the Diller & Scofidio drawings almost seems to imply that the perfect dinner party could be run equally smoothly both forwards, starting with a perfectly laid table, and backwards, starting from the aesthetically arranged débris, if one was simply equipped with thorough stage directions.

This is Dinner Party as absurdist theatre, a fertile territory for playwrights, and one that Diller + Scofidio have also explored elsewhere, most notably with their interactive video installation, Indigestion. In that piece, viewers could experience a dining performance from both the perpective of the diners’ dialogue (an audio track) and their hand movements projected onto the flat surface of a dinner table. But, like those micro facial expressions that give away liars, the two scripts did not necessarily tell the same story.



IMAGE: Indigestion (detail), Diller + Scofidio, photo courtesy Jan Sprij, via
Of course, Diller + Scofidio’s drawings could equally be read as an IDEO-style set of studies analysing the food user experience – breaking down each movement into its fundamental elements in order to design a more optimal dining interface. After all, if the actions compressed into Diller + Scofidio’s middle drawing could be separated out, frame by frame, the result would be a map of dining table usepaths.


IMAGE: Increasing disorder in a dining table (detail), Diller & Scofidio

IMAGE: Financial usepaths, via Tim Boucher


IMAGE: Users co-opting and reacting to the design of their environment, from Jane Fulton Suri’s

Thoughtless Acts
What if we studied dinner party usepaths – “ways of doing things which are typical and which tend to work according to the people who most commonly perform the activity in question,” in Tim Boucher’s helpful definition – and redesigned our dining rooms, table cloths, and place settings accordingly?

Subtle tweaks could encourage cross-table conversation, or make it hard for the guest who always drinks too much to get hold of their wine glass. Playful hosts could insert thought-provoking obstacles into the decor, guaranteed to interrupt force of habit and prompt discussion. And teaching kids table manners might no longer be such a struggle, since the dining environment itself would reinforce them.

NOTE: Thanks to Geoff for pointing out the Diller + Scofidio drawing, and Melissa Clemmer for my copy of Thoughtless Acts!

Are u a Douchebag?

Dictionary: douche-bag.
  • Someone who has surpassed the levels of jerk and asshole, however not yet reached fucker or motherfucker. 
  • low level of intelligence, behaving ridiculously in front of colleagues with no sense of how moronic he appears. 
Rob:He kept hitting on my girlfriend at the party, he just wouldnt leave her alone!!
Sam: God, what a douche-bag.
  • An individual who has an over-inflated sense of self worth, compounded by a low level of intelligence, behaving ridiculously in front of colleagues with no sense of how moronic he appears. 
  • An object used for vaginal hygiene.  

Here are seven of the most annoying photo poses that are a dead giveaway that someone is a douchebag:

Lifting the Shirt to Show the Abs



shirt raise
I know you think you’re telling the world that you’ve got a killer bod by nonchalantly lifting up that stupid shirt that’s obstructing the view of your abs, but really all you’re telling me is that you have a small penis. Because only a dude who is seriously overcompensating for something would feel the need to give the world the gift of his abs every time someone pulls out the camera.

And don’t try to work around the whole issue by just taking the shirt off, either. Camera or not, if you’re constantly looking for an excuse to flash the abs, you’re a grade-A royal retard.

Flexing



flex
Flexing is the lame cousin of the shirt raise and, unless you’re a professional wrestler, should be avoided at costs. Again, if you feel the need to constantly show the world how strong you are, then you’re overcompensating for something.

The Shirt Grab



shirt
 grab
Douches without abs need a different way to show everyone how stupid they are. As such, instead of being proud of their body, they’re proud of whatever is written on the shirt they’re wearing. Whether a brand of clothing, a sports team or hometown, the fact remains: pinching your shirt from the corners to show it off is a pretty ridiculous photo pose.

Giving the Middle Finger



middle finger
The middle finger is the gang sign of douchebags. For some reason, the d-bags of the world think that throwing up the universal sign for “Fuck you” will make them look like a badass. Unfortunately, all there doing is diluting the meaning and offensiveness of one of the world’s most cherished gestures. Fellas, there’s a time and a place for the middle finger (namely, the 101 freeway during rush hour), and an impromptu photo sesh with your buds isn’t it.

Rabbit Ears



rabbit ears
A popular pose among kids and corny uncles everywhere, the classic rabbit ears is a photo pose that is long past its expiration date. Do people who still apply this worn-out maneuver actually think that they’re being original? And do they really think they’re pulling a funny gag on their friend by making them look “foolish?” Well, newsflash mister class clown: when you pull this pose, YOU’RE the one that looks stupid. Unless your friend is actually a rabbit in which case you, sir, are also a racist.

Group of People All Looking Off in Different Directions



group look off
This is the go-to group pose for indie bands. Somehow, for some reason, everyone in the photo just happens to be looking off in different directions. I know, it’s supposed to look artistic and clever, but really, it just looks completely corny and staged. Plus, it’s been done so much by now, that the whole idea has become a cliché.

The Duck Face



duckface
Here it is, the number one most idiotic thing someone can do in a photo. The dreaded duck face is a photo pose most commonly dished by female d-bags, but men have been known to flash this half-kiss/half-smirk abortion as well. Often accompanied by an equally lame peace sign for some reason, this little facial expression is about as stupid as it gets.
             
I’m not sure how the duck face became such a popular photo pose, but it NEEDS TO STOP NOW! Why anyone would willingly want their face to be documented in such a ridiculous and grotesque pose is completely beyond me. The female waterfowl look is best saved for when Daffy Duck is crossdressing to deceive Elmer Fudd.